Check-In With Yourself

As medical students and people, we must regularly check in with ourselves. For some of us, that may not be something we do. We usually live our life day to day mad, frustrated, filled with anxiety, sad, depressed, overwhelmed, etc., and call it life. However, many things are not just life; we fail to take time to find out where those emotions are coming from due to our busyness. Or we never knew we needed to check in with our feelings because it was not a practice in our household. 

Everything I started learning about how to live well mentally began when I was mentally in shambles and emotionally shattered. I had to find a way when I could not access help immediately and was not allowed to sign up for a free therapist that takes my insurance (one of the obstacles when you live out of the country). I was never a depressed person or consistently irritated about everything until my late twenties. I might have had some prior emotional challenges from situations, but I could still progress through life due to burying my emotions and immersing myself in work. I substituted being a student as my therapy when in all actuality, all the hurt was still there, waiting for me to acknowledge years later. On the other hand, as I grew older, I had a breaking point where all those emotions I buried began to surface. More than likely, what we don’t deal with in the present will come out in other areas. My feelings were all over the place, and much of that was attributed to the shift God was taking me through by removing people no longer needed for my future, him opening my eyes to see things for what they were and not what I wanted them to be, and setting boundaries. 

So then, when I got to medical school, it became a problem, and I ended up trying to heal emotionally on top of the rigors of being a medical student at the same time. Furthermore, the change in my environment and life caused me to be depressed, digging an even deeper hole emotionally. So I began to look for a therapist. My first stop was my counselor from school; I didn’t feel a connection with them, so I stopped going. The next thing I did was look for a therapist from my hometown, but they wouldn’t allow me to because of my physical location as a student, even though the place I am in as a student is not my permanent residence. Crazy huh? So they recommended BetterHelp, which seemed pretty decent. I signed up but found out I had to pay for it, and financial assistance only reduced the price by a little, so I only took it for a couple of months. However, this time, I learned about situational depression, which was one of the reasons why I would be happy in one place and sad in the other. As much as I tried to watch youtube channels to figure out my issue, I got a quicker answer by paying to have individual sessions with a therapist. Sometimes YouTube is not enough. We need an interaction with someone to explain our situation. 

In addition, these experiences led me to analyze every emotion that lasted hours, days, or weeks. When I began to ask why, I started to get answers, and some of it can be so simple to resolve if we take time to think about why we feel what we feel. We are continuously praying to find solutions to problems, yet some of those problems can be fixed by simply checking in with ourselves. God is like you can fix this yourself if you take the time to relax. 

Sometimes our environments are the cause of our emotional struggle. We continue to go places that trigger our anxiety or do things that trigger anxiety. Certain people we keep hanging around can cause us to feel drained, and we wonder why because we didn’t check-in. Or we feel obligated to be in places when we can stay home and say no. 

When I found out I don’t have to be in places I don’t feel loved, I stopped going. 

When I found out I could limit interactions with people and not feel guilty, that’s what I did.

When I found out I could protect my peace and didn’t have to stretch myself to make someone else feel comfortable, that’s what I did.

Sometimes we don’t know there are places we don’t have to go because we are not aware we don’t have to. Many prioritize others’ feelings over their own when God could be nudging and telling us no for a reason. We fight with the feeling God gives us when a particular person, place, or thing is mentioned, yet it is a sign that God is trying to protect us. We keep putting ourselves in an area that pushes us ten steps back when God is like you know you don’t have to go right. We have feelings for a reason to signal when we can’t hear God. Now do we always rely on our emotions? No, because sometimes fear (an emotion) can get in the way of an opportunity God is leading you to. So I am not writing to say follow all your emotions, but ultimately follow God to direct your path and check in with your feelings because sometimes he can use them to discern what we can’t see.

Our life can change overnight in some areas if we start sitting down and making a note of our emotions and thinking about the who, what, where, and why that caused us to feel that way. 

Suggestions:

Meditate/ Reflect: Think about your emotions.

Document: Get a journal and write down why you feel that way. Write down every aspect of your life and your emotions towards them (financial, emotional, physical, relational, spiritual).

Solutions: What can be done? Do you need a therapist? Do you need to learn about emotions? Do you need another job? Do you need to find a book on that particular issue?

Repeat: Do this every day, week, or month. Whatever works for you.

If you are in need of a therapist, Betterhelp is one way to get the help you need. Click the link below.

https://www.betterhelp.com/rpc/0beacd9b506286cc-1-01?utm_term=ref_v1_dd